Utena in Wonderland
by AJ Angelique
Summary: The cast of Utena is kidnapped and forced to act out a production of Alice in Wonderland: Completed
1. Collecting the Cast

Utena in Wonderland  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Utena is proper property of Be Papas.  
  
Note:  
  
This is an original Utena fanfic that means the Mystic Sisters won't be appearing in this fic. The only role that I play in this nutty production is the director.  
  
With that said and done, on with the show!  
  
_______________________________________________  
  
Utena in Wonderland  
  
AJ Angelique  
  
1) Collecting the Cast  
  
In some little corner of the dimensional universe sits and 1800s style stage theater. At the current moment, the opulent looking theater is closed and empty save for three people on center stage. They are the two shadow girls and I, your favorite crazy director. The three of us sit at a triangle shaped table as a single light shines down on us as we plot great chaos over a large blue print of Otohori Academy.  
  
"Ok, got the plan?" I asked.   
  
"Hai!" the two shadow girls say with big smile.  
  
"Great. Now, let descend upon our unsuspecting prey," I said and cackle with evil laughter as the shadow girls look at me like I'm nutters.  
  
"Ok, evil moment over with," I said and got up from the table to lead them off to stage right where an five foot by ten foot oak wood door with a brass door knob waited for us. A light up sign over the door read "EXIT" but it isn't an ordinary exit door. The door is a special type of portal that will take one who works for the theater to any dimension they want. All one has to do is take hold of the doorknob, whisper their destination and open the door. Then, the other side will be the desired dimension. So I take hold of the doorknob, whisper "Otohori Academy, Utena Realm" to the peephole and open the door. Once we step through, we find ourselves in the Otohori Academy campus during the early afternoon just after classes have let out.  
  
"You two know what do to," I say. The two shadow girls nod and we spilt up as the Mission Impossible theme begins to play out of nowhere, making everyone around us look up in confusion...  
  
* * *  
  
Akio, the white haired devil, was up in his tower observatory looking through his giant telescope surveying his domain and looking down at the little people down below. It was just when he caught a couple in the middle of making love when the Mission Impossible theme came out of nowhere. Akio looked up with this highly confused look on his face and began to look around for the source of the music. Then, out of nowhere...  
  
"YAHHHH!" I shouted. Akio looked up just in time to see me come down from the ceiling with a giant butterfly net. Before he can do anything to defend himself, the net goes over his entire body and he's swept off his feet as I flip the net around to cock the handle over my shoulder. As he struggled to get lose like a rainbow trout out of water, cursing all sorts of obscenities at me, I simply grin and hold my left hand in a "victory" sign before I skip out of the room as the Mission Impossible theme follows us out of the room...  
  
* * *  
  
Utena, Anthy and ChuChu were together in the greenhouse. Utena was reading a book while ChuChu helped Anthy to tend the roses when the Mission Impossible theme began to play from all the roses in the greenhouse. As the trio looked on at this with a mixture of surprise and confusion, a white gas spewed out of the same roses and slow filled the greenhouse. Utena's first reaction was to help Anthy so she led the Rose Bride and her mouse to the exit only to find it locked. When she tried to force it, a Kermit the Frog plushie fell down on the other side and held a sign that read...  
  
"Sorry, this door has been closed due to a major kidnapping plot. Please try to find another exit while you still can."  
  
"What the...?" Utena asked as Anthy and ChuChu passed out at that moment. Utena grabbed Anthy to keep her from falling but she too soon sub came to the gas and collapsed on the floor with Anthy still in her arms. Once she was asleep, all the windows opened at once to clear out the gas as the shadow girls and I marched in with gas masks and we each picked up a person/animal. Shadow Girl A-ko got Utena, Shadow Girl B-ko got Anthy and I got ChuChu.  
  
"Oh! He's so kawaii!" I commented as I held the snoring mouse in my hands.  
  
"How come you get the lightest one?" B-ko asked.  
  
"Because, I caught Akio. Now hurry before we're discovered," I said and we hurried out of the greenhouse as the Mission Impossible theme followed us outside...  
  
* * *  
  
Touga was at home in his luxurious mansion wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist as he made his way into his bathroom for his afternoon shower. Once in the bathroom, he dropped the towel on the floor and stepped into his five foot by five foot standing shower that was built into the corner of the bathroom and had two frosted glass walls. It wasn't until after the water was running and he was about to lather up his washcloth when the Mission Impossible theme was projected from the showerhead. Touga looked up at this with a raised eyebrow and then heard a sputtering noise at his feet. He looked down to see that the water wasn't going down the drain any more. For some strange reason, it had backed up and was beginning to fill the shower!  
  
Touga tried to turn off the shower but no matter which way he turned the knobs the water wouldn't stop. Then he tried to get out of the shower but *gasp* the door was jammed! And when he tried the shoulder the door, Touga was surprised to find that the glass wouldn't break! In fact, the glass had been replaced by Plexiglas to look like frosted glass for showers! Finally, when things couldn't get any worse, the water that poured into the shower began to change to a bright yellow color.  
  
"Wh..what is this?" Touga asked as he raised his right hand to his face, a disgusted look on his face as the color of the water began to remind him of a not so pleasant fluid once shouldn't bathe in. So there was nothing left for Touga to do but stand there and basically panic as the yellow water got higher and higher as the Mission Impossible theme continued to play.  
  
Finally, the water stopped when it got as far as his shoulders and before long the fluid turned into a gel type substance that held him in place.   
  
"Yeah! Our trap worked!" shouted a female voice and the Shadow Girls jumped out of the closet.  
  
"What is the meaning of this?" Touga demanded angrily as the girls looked in at him.  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know," B-ko said with an evil grin that made him gulp.  
  
"Oh, doesn't he look yummy?" A-ko said as she drooled a bit.  
  
"Hey, keep your mind on the job," B-Ko said.  
  
"Sorry," A-ko said. With that, the girls pulled the false shower out of the corner and wheeled it out as the real shower raised itself out of the floor.  
  
* * *  
  
Nanami and her lackeys were on their way to the spot they knew where Anthy got her water for her precious flowers. Nanami was in a foul mood about Utena and she was going to take it out on poor Anthy. So when they reached their destination they saw what looked like Anthy with her back to them. The group silently snuck up behind her and the trio hung back as Nanami approached Anthy. Nanami put her hand on Anthy's shoulder and whipped her around to face Nanami. But everyone was surprised to find that it wasn't Anthy but a mannequin that held her flowerpot that immediately began to play the Mission Impossible theme.  
  
Nanami backed up to her lackeys and once the four of them were together, four barred walls sprung up out of the ground around the surprised girls and a fifth one fell down out of the sky to slam down on top of the other four and thus completed the cage.  
  
"Yes! Trap two complete!" a female voice exclaimed and the shadow girls jumped out of the bushes to wheel off the four girls, three of which were crying as Nanami was acted like a wild animal trying to get out of the cage.  
  
* * *  
  
Sunset.  
  
Juri and Shiori were having a lovely little picnic on the hill. The two are happily eating and chatting when the Mission Impossible theme began to play from the picnic basket.   
  
"Is it supposed to do that?" Juri asked and Shiori shook her head no. Just then, the snap of a rope could be heard and the edges of the blanket were lifted up around the two girls who began to panic as the blanket was lifted up off the ground with them and all the picnic stuff still inside.  
  
"YES!" two female voices shouted and the Shadow Girls jumped down out of the tree. Quickly, they undid the blanket trap enough to tie it up before they dragged away their bundle as Juri and Shiori struggled to get out as the Mission Impossible theme continued to play.  
  
"You, know. I'm starting to get sick of that song," A-ko said.  
  
"Yeah, me too," B-ko said as she nodded in agreement.  
  
* * *  
  
Evening.  
  
Saioinji was walking down the street alone. It was quiet and the click of his heels echoed off the building. So he knew something odd was happening when the lamp posts began to play the Mission Impossible theme just low enough for him to hear the second set of footsteps that were right behind him. Saioinji stopped in his tracks and whirled around to see who was following him only to find that there was no one there just as the sound stopped!  
  
He was beginning to think he was imagining things by the fourth time he checked his back when I showed up out of nowhere in front of him and he gasped.  
  
We stood there...we stared at each other quietly for a couple minutes...  
  
"So..." he started to say when I held up my right hand to show him my pet tarantula Charlie.  
  
"Boo," Charlie said...and you won't believe this...Saoinji shrieked like a little girl before he fell backwards on the ground because he had fainted. I looked down at him with a raised eyebrow as Charlie rolled around on his back in a fit of laughter before I put Charlie away and dragged Saioinji away by his heels.  
  
* * *  
  
Mickey and Kozue were sitting side by side at the grand piano, playing "Sunlit Garden".  
  
"Tell me again why we're playing this?" Kozue asked.  
  
"I don't know," Mickey said as he shrugged. Suddenly, in the middle of the song, the piano took on a life of it's own and began to play...you guessed it...the Mission Impossible theme! Needless to say, this surprised Mickey and Kozue and they jumped away from the piano.  
  
"Argh! Enough already!" the Shadow Girls shouted as they stormed out of the shadows. The piano stopped playing the music and the twins looked at the two girls.  
  
"What's going on here?" Mickey demanded.  
  
"We're here to kidnap you," A-ko said.  
  
"And we ran out of cool trap ideas to use on you," B-ko chimed in and was quickly elbowed by A-ko as Mickey and Kozue looked on with sweat drops by their heads.  
  
"So, you either come along quietly or go down ninja style," A-ko said. The twins looked at each other briefly with smirks before they posed, ready to fight ninja style.   
  
"Ok, have your way," A-ko said and she advanced with B-ko. The four fought all around the room in the style of those old ninja movies before they ended right back where they started.  
  
"We are evenly matched," A-ko said.  
  
"We are honored to fight with you," B-ko said.  
  
"You should be for we have trained..." Kozue started but interrupted by a noise that resembled a gun being fired off. The next thing she knew, this white blur came right at her and forced her against the far wall. Mickey began to turn and call out her name when the noise came again and another white blur forced him against the wall next to his sister. The Shadow Girls looked on with dropped jaw looks to see that Mickey and Kozue were being held against the walls by what looked to be giant webs.  
  
"Can we go now?" a female voice asked and everyone looked up to see me walk out of the shadows with this weird gun.  
  
"Aww!" A-ko whined  
  
"We were having sun," B-ko said.  
  
"Sun?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Fun, we were having fun," B-ko said with a glare.   
  
'Damn typos,' she thought and I rolled my eyebrows.  
  
"Come on, grab the twins and let's head back to the theater," I said.  
  
"Right," the girls said and peeled the twins off the wall. Once they have been collected, the girls carry them on their backs as they follow me out of the room.  
  
"Did you get Saionji?" A-ko asked.  
  
"Yeppers and you won't believe..." I start to say as we leave the room, my voice vanished the moment we are gone.   
  
Then, when the piano is all alone, it came back to life to finish the Mission Impossible theme...and the Shadow Girls jump out of the shadows to attack the piano with axes, explosives and nitroglycerine. Once there is nothing left of the piano but dust, the girls walk out of the room with very pleased looks on their faces.  
  
Next) Casting Call Hyjinx 


	2. Casting Call Hyjinx

Utena in Wonderland  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Utena is proper property of Be Papas.  
  
Note:  
  
This is an original Utena fanfic that means the Mystic Sisters won't be appearing in this fic. The only role that I play in this nutty production is the director.  
  
With that said and done, on with the show!  
  
_______________________________________________  
  
Utena in Wonderland  
  
AJ Angelique  
  
2) Casting Call Hyjinx  
  
"Ok then, now that we're done with the nuttyness of collecting the cast, we can sit down and talk about who's going to play what." I sit on a stool close to the edge of the stage with this big smile on my face as the various characters of Utena sit in the plush velvet ultra comfy seats.   
  
Utena and Anthy sat up front, now sure what to make of all of this.  
  
Touga sat three rows behind them with Nanami and her goon squad. Touga is trying to stare at Utena all love lorn but the chattering girls around him kinda make it hard to do that as they wait on him hand and foot. Yes, he was naked when he was rolled away but now he's dressed and still tastes of lemon jello. *licks lips*  
  
To the left of the second row was Saionji, slouching visibly with his arms crossed as Akio sat next to him, snikering about something as Kouze leaned her head on Akio's arm while Mickey sat next to her with a light blush.  
  
"Do you have to laugh?" Saoinji muttered.  
  
"Yes. I find it funny that you're afraid of..." Akio started.  
  
"I know what you're afraid of," Saoinji started and Akio stopped mid sentence.  
  
"Oh really?" Akio asked, thinking that he was bluffing. Saoinji then leaned over, whispered something to Akio and his face went pale enough to confuse his skin with dirt.  
  
"I'll keep my mouth shut if you will," Akio said.  
  
"Deal," Saioinji said with a triumphant grin.  
  
Shiori and Juri were...missing...grrr.  
  
"Where's Juri and Shiori?" I asked, not hiding the growl. Shirori popped her head up first and was quickly followed by Juri. They were in the thrid row...and they looked disheveled.  
  
"What does disheveled mean?" Kozue asked.  
  
"It means messy," Mickey said.  
  
"Ohhh," she said as the two other girls sat down, Shiori with a smirk and Juri with a light blush...the two had been necking, again *rolls eyes*.  
  
"And where's ChuChu?" I asked. A single "Chu?" came from behind me and I saw the little blue mouse poking his head out of my Sailor Moon lunch box, crumbs and icing all over his face. A single cold glare was enough to send him running to the safety of Anthy's lap with the last of my lemon cupcakes with the lemon vanilla icing. Seeing as how there was nothing I could do about this, I laid my right hand on my head with a heavy sigh.  
  
It is then that Anthy raised her hand.  
  
"Yes Miss Anthy?" I aked.  
  
"I don't mean to be rude, but who are you and where are we?" Anthy asked.  
  
"Furthur more, why are we here?" Nanami demanded rudely.  
  
"SILENCE!" I shout, doing my best impression of Dumbledore. Needless to say, my voice reverbirates off the walls and everyone gets deathly silent...then a chunk of the ceiling falls down and slams down on Nanami's head, thus dazing her and making her sit down as her "bugs" dote on her.  
  
'Maybe now she'll shut up,' Touga thought with a smirk.  
  
"Hmm, guess I'll have to get that fixed," I said thoughtfully as I glance up at the ceiling.  
  
"Ha hem," Utena cleared her throat.  
  
"Oh yeah. I am the great and power AJ Angelique and I have chossen all of you to perform in my next production of Alice in Wonderland," I said with my arms crossed.  
  
..and the theater is quiet enough to hear crickets chirp...in fact, you do!  
  
"Let me get straight. You kidnapped us..." Akio started.  
  
"Borrowed," I said.  
  
"Excuse me?" he asked.  
  
"The term 'borrowed' is better this case." Sweet smile.  
  
"Oookk. You...borrowed us, brought us here and expect us to perfrom this two bit play for you?"  
  
"It's not two bit and it's not just for me. There's gonna a full house on Friday to see you all perform," I said and everyone looked around at the 100+ some seats behind them.  
  
"Then, once the show is over with I'll return you to the academy. Think of it as a short vaction with free room, board and all you can eat," I said happily and everyone looked up at this.  
  
"Free food?" Nanami asked. I nodded and everyone quickly got into a huttle. I looked quizially before they broke the huttle with a loud "Break!" and then turned to me say...  
  
"You've got a deal!" they all said and their combined voices knocked my off my stool...or pedastal...however you want to look at it =*_*=  
  
"Do you think she's dead?" Shirori asked and Juri shruged...  
  
...  
  
PIXIE STICKS  
  
...  
  
Sorry, got side tracked there for a moment. I got up and brushed myself off.  
  
"Ok, time to pass out the parts!" I said and walked over to stage right where a rolling rack of costumes waited and everyone began to pray for the best parts...well, except Anthy. She wanted a nice small role with few lines...at the moment.  
  
"Ok, let's see here now..." I said as I stand by the stool, which now has a nice stack of pink scripts *he he*  
  
"Did she have that before?" Kouze asked and Mickey shruged.  
  
"As I call your name, come up and claim your costume. Utena..." I said. The pink haired prince let out a small sigh and joined me up on stage as I fished out her costume.  
  
"You're playing Alice," I said as I pulled out a semi-frilly blue and white version of her unifrom.  
  
"WHAT!?" Nanami, Shiori and Kozue exclaimed.  
  
"How comes she gets to be Alice?" Shiori demaned.  
  
"Yeah?" Nanami asked. One more icy glare silences the girls and they all gulp nervously.  
  
"Nanami," I said with a icy tone. Nervously, the blonde girl rose from her seat and stepped up on stage as I handed Utena a script and shoed her off stage.  
  
"You're the Queen of Hearts," I said and pulled out this dominatrix looking outfit...and Nanami's jaw dropped as we both heard snickers wafer from the seats.  
  
"You've got to be kidding me," she said.  
  
"I think it's suits you. If you don't like it, you can try and fix it," I said and handed her a script. With a deep pout, she walked off stage.  
  
"Anthy."   
  
With a sweet smile, she rose fromher seat and joined me on stage.  
  
"Ok now, you're gonna get two parts," I said.  
  
"Oh my," Anthy gasped. Nanami and her crew dropped their jaws but a glare from Saionji silenced their tounges.  
  
"First, you're the white rabbit," I said and pulled out this cute white dress outift with rabbit ears.  
  
"Oh how cute," Anthy said when she saw it.  
  
"I know isn't it?" I beamed and literally dove back into the rack to pull out her other costume. Needless to say, everyone looked on with worried looks at this.  
  
"Just how deep is it in there?" Touga asked and Nanami's lackies all shruged.  
  
"And..." I said as I stepped back out with said costume, "...you will be playing the March Hare. Here's ChuChu's outfits as well. He's gonna play Dinah and the DorMouse."   
  
"Thank you," Anthy said as she took the costumes and script before she returned to her seat.  
  
"Touga and Saionji," I said. The two guys rose from their seats.  
  
"You think they get to play the Tweedles?" Kouzue whispered as they joined me on stage.  
  
"Touga, you're the King of Hearts. Saionji, you're the Mad Hatter," I said as I pulled out each costume.  
  
"Really?" Nanami asked, suddenly liking her role even more.  
  
"I get to have a sceen with Anthy?" Saionji asked, as if I was giving him my blessing to marry her.  
  
"Yeeeeaaahhh," I said.  
  
"Oh thankyouthankyourhankyou," Saionji said as he claimed his costume and litterally skipped off stage.  
  
"Was that really a good idea?" Touga asked.  
  
"I don't know...but if he gets to bad, I can replace him with an android," I murmured back.  
  
"Good thinking," Touga replied and finally left the stage.  
  
"Juri, Shiori. Front and center."  
  
The two girls rose out of their seats, curious as to what roles they would soon get.  
  
"Juri, you will be the carpenter," I said and fished out a very nice looking white suit.  
  
"Ohh, pretty," Shirori said with envy. I smiled and then pulled out Shiori's costume.  
  
"Shiori, you're the Walrus," I said and held up the formal looking dress with the small walrus mask to cover her nose.  
  
"What!? Why me?" she asked.  
  
"Because, it suits you," I said. Shiori grumbled and trudged off with Juri.  
  
"Look on the bright side, no padding and great cloths," Juri said as she patted Shiori's back.  
  
"Yeah," Shiori said monotonely. I let out a heavy sigh and looked at Nanami's goon squad.  
  
"You three, up here now," I said. The trio gulped and went up on stage as I dove into the cloths rack once more.  
  
"Just hjow many costumes are in there?" pigtails (Keiko) asked.  
  
"I don't know?" red head (Yuuko) said.  
  
"Kinda reminds you of Mary Poppins though," said brunette (Aiko) and the others noded.   
  
"Yes!" I shouted and made the three girls jump as I pop out of the rack with three white body suits with card suits and sewn on the fabric.  
  
"You will be the cards and the Queen's personal enterage," I said.  
  
"..." all three.  
  
"Uh, girls?" I asked, highly worried.  
  
"THANK YOU!" they squeal and each grab a suit and script before running back to their seats.  
  
"Ooookkkk. Mikage and Kozue," I call out as if they are on the other side of the room.  
  
"Uh, my name isn't Mickage," Miki said.  
  
"It isn't?" I asked as he and his sister cam eup on stage. He shook his head no and I checked my clip board.  
  
"Damn it," I cursed and made the correction.  
  
"Ok, fixed now," I said and reached into the rack, "You and your sister get to play...hey!" I shouted as I'm nearly dragged into the rack. Kozue let out a small shriek and hid behind her brother as I play tug of war with a snarling something in the rack before it finally let go of the costumes and I end up laying on my back.  
  
"Ah, yes. You two get to play the Tweedles," I said triumphantly and held up the costumes.  
  
"Figures," Kozue said with a frown and Micket glares at her as he takes the costumes.  
  
"But would one of you please change the Dum name, I think it sounds a little insulting to you two," I said as I got up.  
  
"Deal!" Kozue said and quickly got her brother off stage before another word was said.  
  
"Ok then, that just leaves Akio," I said happily with my hands on my hips. Needless to say, the white hair devil gracefully rose from his seat and practically waltzed his way up to the stage.  
  
"Tone it down buddy, this is a stage not a cat walk," I said.  
  
"Saving the best for last I see," he said, trying to be charming. So I chosse that moment to hack up a hairball.  
  
"Cool! It's pink," I said and tossed it to Akio as I plunged head first into the costume rack. Needless to say, he stepped as far back from it as he could, as if it was radioactive or something. Hmmm, oh well. I'll pick it up later and add it to the box of"Things I've Hacked Up in Front of Guys like Akio" *big grin*  
  
"HERE IT IS!" I shouted and came out with a strange purple outfit.  
  
"You're the Chesire Cat," I said, beaming again.  
  
"Agh! Quick, sometime find the dimmer!" Utena said as she and the other sheilded their eyes.  
  
"Opps, sorry," I said and toned down on the beaming.  
  
"You expect me to wear...this?" Akio asked as he held up the pants, tail and cat ears.  
  
"Yeppers, you'll look SO cute. Besides, you're chest is the only good feature about you so I don't want to cover it up," I said, starting to beam again.  
  
"Gee, thanks," Akio said monotonely as he took the costume.   
  
"What was that?" I asked, flames appearing behind me.  
  
"Uh, you're right and it's an honor to act under your guidance," he quicklly said.  
  
"That's better. Now, everyone let's start rehearsing!" I said and the rack rolled itself off stage.  
  
"How did it do that?" Saionji asked and Mickey shrugged.  
  
* * *  
  
Two days later on opening night, the cast was assmebled in the big room to the right of the stage. The past two days had passed quickly, everyone learned their lines quickly and enjoyed realtive comfort...as long as they stayed in line that is...  
  
Like Akio, who had just entered the room. He was in costume...and he gave off smoke as if he was a peice of burnt toast.  
  
"What happened to you?" Juri asked, she and the the rest of the cast looking equally surprised as I tried to stiffle my snickers.  
  
"Electricdoorknobs," he grumbled and sat down in a near by chair with his arms crossed.  
  
"What?" Juri asked.  
  
"Akio, I told you that the dorknobs of the other rooms were tuned into your DNA. Didn't I?" I asked as seriously as I could and he simply nodded his head.  
  
"Huh?" Nanami asked.  
  
"I rigged the dorknobs of all the rooms but his to shock him if he tried to enter," I said with a big grin.  
  
"So that why I smelt cooked ham last night," Kouze said naivelly and Mickey threw the White Haired Devil a glare.  
  
"Akio, what happen to that LoveDoll I gave you?" I asked thoughtfully and everyone looked up at me like I just said a bad word or something.  
  
"I used it," he said and everyone looked at him.  
  
"What happened to it then?" I asked, all eyes back on me.  
  
"It broke." All eyes on Akio.  
  
"Broke? How? That thing had a lifetime warenty!" All eyes on me.  
  
"Easy, it only broke after ten times." All eyes on Akio.  
  
"In two days?" All eyes on me.  
  
"No, on the first night." Jaws drop in shock...well, at least the tennis match was over with...  
  
*cut to Akio's room where we find various parts of the LoveDoll laying around the room*  
  
"Oookk. Well, the show's about to start so let's go!" I said cheerfully and left the room with Utena, Anthy and ChuChu. As we left the room, I heard a whimper that I knew was Saioinji which was imeditally followed by a whack, the Green Haired Idiot yelling painfully and finally an verbal arguement between the Idiot and the Devil. With a heavy sigh, I knew that this was going to be an interesting play as I walked out to my side of the stage to play narrator.  
  
The most miniscule job in the world...I hoped...*bits lower lip*  
  
Next) Act 1: Wonderland 


	3. Act 1: Wonderland

Utena in Wonderland  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Utena is proper property of Be Papas.  
  
Note:  
  
This is an original Utena fanfic that means the Mystic Sisters won't be appearing in this fic. The only role that I play in this nutty production is the director.  
  
With that said and done, on with the show!  
  
_______________________________________________  
  
Utena in Wonderland  
  
AJ Angelique  
  
3) Act 1: Wonderland  
  
Outside in the theater, the audience quiets down as the lights dim and the orchestra begins to play.  
  
"Chaos House proudly, presents. Alice in Wonderland, as performed by the characters from Revolutionary Girl Utena," I said into my microphone and the spot lights hit the stage as the orchestra ends the opening theme and the curtains are pulled back to reveal the first sceen as a softer song begins to play.  
  
"It was a beautiful Spring day as Alice and Dinah enjoyed a picnic out in the backyard of their home in merry old England," I said as Utena and ChuChu sat on a blanket with the full spreads of a picnic laid before them. Behind them, everyon could see the backdrop of a grassy yard with a small forest in the distance.  
  
"Isn't this a great day for a picnic Dinah?" Utena asked ChuChu as she held up a tea cup.  
  
"Chu!" ChuChu said as he tried to engulf a entire peice of chesse cake.  
  
"Yes...Dinah, do you smell pine needles?" Utena asked as the scent of pine needles became apparent in the air...as I sit in my narrator's chair wildly fanning behind myself.  
  
"Yes, there was a fair wind blowing that day and said winds blew in the scent of pine trees from the distant forest. Yet this only served to distract Alice from the fragrance of the White Rabbit's perfume as she chanced to pass by," I said, trying to cover up for my silent fart. Boy do I love it when my fart comes out at unexpected moments and smells differently each time.   
  
Taking the cue, Anthy entered stage right as she had this lost look on her face.  
  
"Oh my, I'm late," she said and Utena looked up at her.  
  
"You missed your peri...?" Utena started but it seemed as if Anthy didn't hear her.  
  
"I'm late, I'm ever so late," Anthy said as her giant watch began to give off alarm bells.  
  
"Oh no! She'll have my whiskers if I don't get there soon," Anthy gasped and began to dash stage left.  
  
"Wait!" Utena shouted and gave chase. The two girls got onto an convery belt that began to roll as they dashed onto it.   
  
"Chu?" ChuChu asked as he and the rest of the picnic moved off stage right and the backdrop began to move as if the two girls were really running. This only lasted a minute as Anthy jumped up and then fell through a trap door in the floor.  
  
"Weeee!" Anthy squealed.  
  
"Eeeeee!" Utena shrieked as she tripped and fell face first through the trap door...and I flinch because that wasn't in the script. The converbelt vanished and the backdrop went black before it changed to the inside of the rabbit hole as Utena promtly fell from the ceiling with an blue unbrellA in her hands. Utena fell no more than five feet before the umbrella popped open and she began to "float" down the rabbit hole as a fann enflated the umbrella a wire keeps Utena from falling.  
  
"Curiouser and curiouser," Utena said as she looked around the rabbit hole as things passed by...and yes, floated by her. Utena looked up with surprise and worry as various peices of furniture floated up from various trap holes in the stage. It wasn't long before her airspace began to get cluttered and Utena started to curl up into a fetal position. Then, as suddenly as at it started, the ride ended as all the furniture moved away from Utena and the umbrella collasped. She let out a single shriek and fell to the floor with an loud "umph" as the backdrop changed to a feild with roads. As Utena groaned in pain and stood up, a large tree rolled on stage from stage left and stopped next to her as she turned to look at it.  
  
"Woah, that's a lot of signs..." Utena said as she looked at all the signs nailed to the tree, "but, which way do I go from here?"  
  
"Way?" asked a male voice and Akio stepped out from behind the tree with a big grin.  
  
"Who are you?" Utena asked.  
  
"I'm the Chesire Cat, I know everything there is about this land," Akio said.  
  
"Then maybe you can help me find my way home?" Utena asked hopefully.  
  
"Maybe..." Akio said.  
  
"What do you mean maybe?" Utena asked but Akio just grinned more and Utena began to get nervous...and it showed.  
  
"If you go that way, you will find the March Hare," Akio said as he pointed behind Utena who turned and looked.  
  
"If you go this way, you will find the Mad Hatter," Akio said as he pointed to another road, which both it and the first road intersected in the woods.  
  
"But I don't want to meet mad people," Utena said.  
  
"You can't help it, we're all mad here. Even you...I suppose," Akio said.  
  
"What makes you say that?" Utena asked with her hands on her hips.  
  
"Because you're here...I'd go down that road," Akio said and pointed to stage left. Utena looked and took a couple steps towards stage left. This left Akio behind her and he took this moment to slip behind the tree.  
  
"Why...?" she started to ask and turned back around to see that he was gone. She looked around a couple times and let out a heavy sigh.  
  
"Well, it's as good a direction as any," Utena said and exited stage left as Akio poked his head out of the tree to watch her leave before he turned to the audience.  
  
"This is going to be ever so much fun, I just sent her to the Tweetle sisters. They haven't had an audience in such a long time and this should be interesting," Akio said as he wnet back behind the tree which rolled off stage right as the lights began to dim for the next act.  
  
Next) Act 2: Stories and Tea 


	4. Act 2: Stories and Tea

Utena in Wonderland  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Utena is proper property of Be Papas.  
  
Note:  
  
This is an original Utena fanfic that means the Mystic Sisters won't be appearing in this fic. The only role that I play in this nutty production is the director...oh yeah, and narrator. WAKE UP ME!  
  
With that said and done, on with the show!  
  
_______________________________________________  
  
Utena in Wonderland  
  
AJ Angelique  
  
4) Act 2: Stories and Tea  
  
"Pst...PST!" comes a whisper from behind the curtain. I jump and glance around to see Juri.  
  
"What happened? You missed a couple lines!" Juri whispered.  
  
"Fudge, my Pixie Stick must have wore off," I cursed.  
  
"Pixie Sticks! Get your Pixie Sticks here!" shouted one of the vendors that was walking around with snacks.  
  
"I'll take a jumbo!" I call out. The vendore tosses a jumbo Pixie Stick to me which I rip open with my teeth and suck it back with one big gulp.   
  
"Was that a good idea?" Shiori asked.  
  
"We'll soon see," Juri said as a couple of the stage hands got ready to pull the curtain ropes.  
  
"With that, the Chesire Cat became invisible once again and followed Alice as she made her way down the path where she found two curious characters."  
  
I know, I don't narrate much but at least I'm opening this fic.  
  
Ok! With my line over with the curtains open to reveal that the tree is gone and the backdrop resembles an open feild. Miki and Kozue stand center stage in their cute matching outfits as they stand as still as staues while leaning away from one another. Not long after the curtains are fully drawn, Utena walked in from stage left and stopped when she was three feet from the twins.  
  
"Hmm, curiouser and curiouser," Utena said as she looked the twins over.  
  
"Time!" Miki exclaimed and Utena jumped at this sudden outburst.  
  
"Well?" Kozue asked.  
  
"Best time yet," Miki said as he held up the digital stop watch.  
  
"Yeah!" Kozue exclaimed.  
  
"Uh...excuse me?" Utena said and the twins turned to her.  
  
"Didn't we look like such fabulus wax figures?" Kozue asked as if Utena had been there the whole time.  
  
"Yes, you did," Utena said, playing along with Kozue.  
  
"But, if we were real wax figures you would have paid to look at us," Miki said very proudly.   
  
"Y...yes," Utena simply said, not sure what to make of him as Kozue glared at her brother before she bopped him over the head with a thick book.  
  
"Don't talk like that, you're head will get to big and explode just like your brother's did," Kozue said monotonely.  
  
"Brother?" Utena asked.  
  
"Yes, my brother Dum perished because he praised himself to much. But..." Miki said and turned to Kozue, "I'm not going out like that."  
  
"Pfht, whatever," Kozue said.  
  
"If you don't mind my asking, but...who are you two?" Utena asked.  
  
"I thought you'd never ask," Kozue said and Utena raised an eyebrow.  
  
"This boast bag of air is my cousin Tweedle Dee," Kozue said as she gestured her right hand to Miki who glared at her.  
  
"And this snobish woman before you is my cousin Tweetle Laa," Miki said.  
  
"Tweedle Dee...and Tweetle Laa?" Utena asked, a bit puzzled, "Those sound like forgein names."  
  
"Very forgein, we were born in a far away land," Miki said.  
  
"Oh, where would that be?" Utena asked.  
  
"Uhhh...I forget," Miki said and the two girls nearly collasped to the floor as two more peices of ceiling fell on their heads.  
  
'I really need to get that fixed,' I thought as I looked on as Miki looked on highly surprised.  
  
"Just then, the falling of two peices of sky reminded Dee of a story," I said.  
  
"Hey, that reminds me of a story," Miki said matter of factly and Kozue glared at him.  
  
'Gee, you think?' she thought before she turned to Utena with a big smile.  
  
"Yes, won't you stay for a story?" Kozue asked very cheerfully.  
  
"I don't know..." Utena said as she tried to back up.  
  
"You're not going anywheres are you?" Miki asked.  
  
"Yes but..." Utena started.  
  
"And you're not needed anywheres are you?" Kozue asked.  
  
"No but I..."  
  
"Dee and Laa despertally wanted Alice to stay and listen to one of their stories, seeing as how no one passed their feild very often. Alice though, wanted to keep going down the road. So, after a couple of moments, Alice finally gave in and agreed to listen to a story."  
  
"YEAH!" Kozue excalimed.  
  
"But only one mind you. Then I leave," Utena said sternly.  
  
"Yes, just one," Miki said as Kozue snuck up behind him.  
  
"We better make this a long story then," she said quietly to her brother who nodded in agreement.  
  
"What was that?" Utena asked.  
  
"Nothing," Kozue said with a nervous laugh and Utena looked at her suspicious as a giant golden frame with blue velvet curtains rolled in from stage left.  
  
"And now, the story of the Walrus and the Carpenter," both the twins said as Utena sat down on a tree stump that rose up out of the ground.  
  
"Wow, tree stumps must be in season," Miki said, astonished.  
  
"Dee!" Kozue shouted.  
  
"Sorry," Miki said and the blue curtains rolled back to reveal a beach sceen...that was divided between the day and the night.  
  
"It was the middle of the night when the Walrus and the Carpenter went out for a walk along the sand," Miki said as Juri and Shiori came out stage right of the frame.  
  
"I can't believe how hot it is," Juri said as she fanned herself.  
  
"Said the Carpenter to the Walrus, who was also feeling the heat," Kozue said.  
  
"Then let's walk by the sea and see what we can see," Shiori said as she motioned her cane towards the plastic wrap ocean.  
  
"So the Walrus and the Carpenter made their way to the ocean, in an attempt to cool off from the heat. But when they reached a small cove, what should they find but an small colony of oysters," Miki said.  
  
"Ah, what luck to chance upon so many new friends," Shiori said.  
  
"Said the Walrus as her eyes gleamed with an evil scheme," Miki said.  
  
"Walk with us and talk with us, the day is fine and we have the time and to be merry as kings," Shiori said.  
  
"Yes, let us time of the finer things. Of ships and shoes and cabbages and queens," Juri said.  
  
"The Carpenter piped as as she tried not to drool at the thought of fried oysters," Miki said.  
  
"Though one old oyster thought it wise to stay home on this fine March day, the youngest ones of the group jumped up with their shoes are polished and clean," Kozue said.  
  
"Which was quite odd for they had no feet," Miki said.  
  
"I see," Utena said.  
  
"Even so, the ten little oysters followed in two rows of five as Walrus and Carpenter led the way to their little shack," Miki said.  
  
"Oh what a day it is with the sun bright bright and hot, dear Carpenter would you fetch us some drinks," Shiori said.  
  
"Said the Walrus as she sat at the table with the innocent little oysters," Kozue said.  
  
"So, with a smile and quick little..." Miki said.  
  
"Be right back," Juri said.  
  
"The carpenter was gone to the kitchen to make fresh lemonaid," Miki said.  
  
"Then, with an evil gleam in her eye. Walrus turned to all the osters and ate them all with a little salt," Kozue said. Juri then came out with a large pitcher of lemonaid.  
  
"Lemonaid's...uh, where are the oysters?" Juri asked.  
  
"I will admit it...they comitted suicide," Shiori said.  
  
"Suicide?!" Juri gasped and placed the pitcher on the table.  
  
"Yes," Shiori said as she dabbed her eyes with a pink hankercheif, "In my stomach."  
  
"WHAT!?" Juri exclaimed and threw the pitcher at Shiori who shrieked in fright. Juri then picked up a mallet and chased after Shiori with the mallet as she yelled all sorts of curses at Shiori. With that, the curtains slammed shut and the frame rolled off stage.  
  
"Wow, new ending," Miki said.  
  
"I told you not to drink that saki," Kozue said and Miki turned to her with a glare.  
  
"Then, just when Dee was about to argue with Laa. Who should appear but..."  
  
"I'M LATE!" came a familar female shout and everyone turned to stage right to see Anthy dash on stage.  
  
"The White Rabbit!" Utena gasped as Anthy ran past her. Once again, the two girls were on the conveyerbelt running as another one rolled Miki and Kozue off to stage right where they were literally tossed off behind the curtains.  
  
"Wait!" Utena shouted as some bushes rolled in from stage left. Anthy jumped into the bushes and Utena followed her.   
  
"So Alice jumped into the bushes, trying her best to follow the White Rabbit only to find..."  
  
"I'M LOST!" Utena cried out as she stuck here head out of the bushes.  
  
"Then, she heard a noise behind her and followed it."  
  
Utena hears the sound of clicking china and follows it till all the bushes part to reveal Anthy, Saionji and ChuChu sitting at a long pink table with ten tables. Utena was about to speak her next line when the lines when out with a jolt.  
  
Next)   
  
5) The Eternal Tea Party 


	5. Act 3: The Eternal Tea Party

Utena in Wonderland  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Utena is proper property of Be Papas.  
  
Note:  
  
This is an original Utena fanfic that means the Mystic Sisters won't be appearing in this fic. The only role that I play in this nutty production is the director...oh yeah, and narrator. WAKE UP ME!  
  
With that said and done, on with the show!  
  
_______________________________________________  
  
Utena in Wonderland  
  
AJ Angelique  
  
5) Act 3: The Eternal Tea Party  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats as we deal with these technical difficulties," I said into my microphone and slipped on my regulation pair of night vision goggles before I slipped backstageb to the left wing waiting room for the actors. There, I find the room already lit by candles and flashlights.  
  
"What the hell just happened?" I asked.  
  
"Well..." Juri said and pointed to her right. I looked and saw Akio sitting in a chair...loking very toasted and very angry.  
  
"Akio...?"  
  
"All I did was try to go to the bathroom and then ZAP," Akio said, glaring.  
  
"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. The bathrooms are rigged so that you can't enter them if someone else is in there," I said, innocently enough.  
  
"WHAT!?" Akio exclaimed.  
  
"But, you shouldn't have been zapped so hard, I only rigged it for a thousand watts," I said thoughtfully.  
  
"I thought the bathrooms were unisex," Nanami asked.  
  
"Yeah, but I don't trust the white haired devil," I said.  
  
"What if my hands were wet?" Akio asked.  
  
"Wet?"  
  
"Water was spilled and I was heading in for some towels," Akio said.  
  
"AJ, we need to fix the lights before the crowd gets restless," Touga said.  
  
"K," I said, turned to an black door with a white frame. There's no handle on the door but a yellow button to the right. I push the button and the door slides open to reveal this generator. With one swift kick to said generator, the power kicks back on...and everyone's jaws drop.  
  
"What? I always do that," I said.  
  
"AJ, the show has started," Shiori said.  
  
"Perfect, I love those people. Akio, toss the hair tie and brush your hair before you get in your spot," I said.  
  
"Fine," Akio said and I left to return to my spot at the narrator's pedastal to find that Utena and the others were already past the introductions.  
  
"Everything I say is meaningful and profound," Saioinji said as ChuChu slept in a tea cup saucer and Anthy sipped on tea.  
  
"Cut your hair," Saioinji said as he looked right at Utena.  
  
"I beg your pardon?" Utena asked, insulted.  
  
"Personal remarks are rude," Anthy said matter of factly.  
  
"They are? Oh...I'll have to remember that," Saioinji said thoughtfully.  
  
"How come you have the table set out for so many? Are you expecting guests?" Utena asked.  
  
"No, it's because of the Queen of Hearts...and time," Saioinji said.  
  
"Time?" Utena asked.  
  
"Yes. It was some time ago when the Queen asked for performers at her birthday celebration. Of course I went sang my little rendition of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat'," Saioinji said.  
  
"Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat, How I wonder where you're at. Like a tea pot in the sky," Anthy said dreamily before she began to nibble on a tea saucer like was a cookie. Utena looked on at this with worry as Saioinji just continued with his story.  
  
"Then, the queen shouted 'Stop that man, he's murdering time!' So I got out of there before a finger was laid on me but time had heard what she said and stopped time at 6. So it's always tea time here," Saioinji said.  
  
"We never really have time to clean up around here so we just leave everything out and move onto something cleaner," Anthy said.  
  
"I see," Utena said.  
  
"Speaking of which, I have a craving for Sushi," Saioinji said.  
  
"But," Utena said as she looked around the table, "I don't see any."  
  
"I can remedy that," Anthy said and Utena looked up to see Anthy hold up a knife as her eyeglasses were glared over. Utena then shrieked and attempted to escape but Saioinji grabbed first her left wrist and then her right wrist when she tried to strike him. Anthy began to approach Utena as she tried to strugle free of Saioinji's grasp.  
  
"Then, when Alice thought she had breathed her last breath," I said as Anthy raised the knife, "The Chesire Cat Came to her rescue."  
  
With that, Akio appeared out of thin air and practically glomped Anthy who let out a small shriek of surprise.  
  
"No!" Saioinji shouted as Akio disarmed Anthy and then threw her towards the nearby bushes of stage left. Saioinji then let out a angry growl as he threw Utena aside into one of the nearby chairs as he approached Akio. Akio turned to him just in time for the two of to lock hands in a power strugle as Utena looked on with this confussed look on her face.  
  
"Yes, the Chesire Cat had reappeared to save Alice from mortal peril..." I said.  
  
"MORTAL COMBAT!" came this male voice out of thin air and everyone looked around highly confussed.  
  
"I said mortal PERIL."  
  
"Sorry," said the male voice sheepishly and that was the last we heard of him.  
  
"As I was saying. The Chesire Cat and the Mad Hatter were locked in a sturgle of power as both were evenly matched in strength. As Alice looked on, she didn't know weither to take this chance to escape or help the cat when..."  
  
"I'm late, I'm ever so late," came a female voice from stage right and Anthy bounded out all dressed up as the White Rabbit once again.   
  
"What the...?" Anthy asked as she stopped in the middle of the stage when she saw the two guys.  
  
"Stay out of this White Rabbit," Saioinji growled.  
  
"No, take Alice and run," Akio shouted. Anthy only nodded once with a determined face before she turned to Utena and grabbed her wrist.  
  
"Oy!" Utena gasped as she was pulled out of the chair. The two girls then ran in place towards stage right as the rest of the stage moved stage left. Saioinji shouted just as he and Akio vanished stage left. Everyone can hear the sounds of a strugle...and falling objects...which made me fidget with worry in my chair. Then the noises stop and Akio jumps back out on the stage to catch up with the girls.  
  
"Chesire Cat!" Utena exclaimed happily as Akio flashed her a smile.  
  
"I'm fine Alice, the Mad Hatter was no match for me," Akio said as a glint flashed in his smile...and I shudder in my seat for you never trust someone with a glint in their teeth...this includes Akio, Scot Summers from X-Men Evolution and Frieza from Dragonball Z...but still...  
  
"Where are we going?" Utena asked.  
  
"To see the Queen of Hearts," Anthy said as a giant oak tree with a red door on the side rolled in from stage right. Once the door opened the trio jumped through the doorway and the door slammed shut just as the stage lights began to dim and the curtains closed for a second time.  
  
Next) Royal Company 


	6. Act 4: Royal Company: New

Utena in Wonderland  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Utena is proper property of Be Papas.  
  
Note:  
  
This is an original Utena fanfic that means the Mystic Sisters won't be appearing in this fic. The only role that I play in this nutty production is the director...oh yeah, and narrator. WAKE UP ME!  
  
With that said and done, on with the show!  
  
_______________________________________________  
  
Utena in Wonderland  
  
AJ Angelique  
  
6) Act 4: Royal Company  
  
I sit there, staring at the curtains where Akio once was. "Woah, he's hot," I said. A single cough from backstage is enough to jump me out of my trance and I wipe the drool from my mouth before I turned back to my microphone.  
  
"As Alice jumped through the doorway with the White Rabbit and the Chesire Cat, she couldn't help but feel as if she was being pulled towards a bright light which turned out to be a beautiful sunlit garden," I said and the curtains opened to reveal a beautiful hedged garden filled with red flowers...save for one lone bush that stood center stage where Keiko, Yuuko and Aiko were dressed up as the three cards. As they pretended to paint the bush of white roses red Utena, Anthy and Akio tumbled in from stage right.  
  
"Woah, what a ride," Utena said as she looked a bit frazzeled.  
  
"Yes, do you supose we can do that again?" Anthy asked cheerfully and Akio rolled his eyes. It was then that Utena noticed the three cards.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing to those flowers?" Utena asked.  
  
"What does it look like we're doing?" Keiko asked.  
  
"We're painting the rose red," Aiko said.  
  
"Yeah," Yuuko said.  
  
"Why?" Utena asked bluntly.  
  
"Because, we made planted a white rose bush by mistake," Keiko said.  
  
"And the queen likes them red," Aiko said.  
  
"Yeah," Yuuko said.  
  
"Wrong!" came the shout of a powerful female voice. The three cards and Utena jumped in surprise as Nanami and Touga entered stage left. The three cards began to panic and huddle together as they cowered in fear as Utena looked on with an raised eyebrow while Akio and Anthy just looked on with grins.  
  
Nanami then looked at the rose bush, sneered and then looked at the three cards, "What is the meaning of this?" she demaned as she pointed her whip at the rose bush as Touga just stood behind her while sipping on red wine.  
  
"We...we...we..." the three girls stammered, their knees literally knocking together in fear.  
  
"You were painting these beautiful flowers red, weren't you?" Nanami demanded and the three girls could barely speak.  
  
"My queen," Touga said as he approached his sister and wrapped his free arm around her shoulders, "Go easy on them, they were only following your orders. You did say "red roses" in the garden this year." Nanami's manner instantly began to soften.  
  
"Yes, you are right. You are excused as long as you can remove that paint from the roses," Nanami said.  
  
"Yes your majesty," the three girls said and instantly set to cleaning the rose. Nanami smiled and then noticed Utena, Anthy and Akio.  
  
"White Rabbit, you are late," Nanami said said as she approached the trio.  
  
"Yes your majesty," Anthy said with a curtsy, "but this young girl was in trouble and..."  
  
"You know I don't like people being late for croquete," Nanami said.  
  
"Yes your majesty," Anthy said with a bowed head.  
  
"Go gather the equiptment," Touga said before Nanami could say another word.   
  
"Yes your majesty," Anthy said and scurried off to stage left.  
  
"So," Nanami said as she approached Utena and Akio, "who are you two?"  
  
"My name is Alice," Utena said and waited for Akio to introduce himself...but he didn't. He just continued to stand there with a grin on his face.  
  
"And who...or what is this creature?" Nanami asked as she started to get creeped out by the grin.  
  
"This is the Chesire Cat," Utena said.  
  
"A creepy sort of fellow," Nanami said.  
  
"Yes, he is," Touga said and casually sipped his wine.  
  
"I wish he wouldn't look at me like that," Nanami said as she rubbed her arms as if she was cold.  
  
"A cat may look a queen if he so pleases," Utena said and Nanami looked at her.  
  
"I beg your pardon?!" she exclaimed.  
  
"I read it somewheres...I don't know where though," Utena said, the last part with a puzzled look on her face.  
  
"I should like to meet that author someday," Touga said.  
  
"I'd like to strangle them," Nanami said as she inched away from Akio as he leaned forward and widen his eyes. Just then, everyone looked to stage left where there was a large clatter of what sounded like metal trash lids or pie tins. Anthy then stepped out with flamingo shapped mallets and hedgehog shapped croquete balls.  
  
"Ah, the croquete equiptment has arrived," Nanami said and walked over to Anthy as Touga turned to Utena and Akio.  
  
"Do you two play?" he asked.  
  
"A little," Utena said.  
  
"And you?" Touga asked Akio.  
  
"I'd rather not. I'll just stand back here and watch," Akio said with a big grin.  
  
"Suit yourself," Touga said as he finsihed his wine and placed his glass down in mid air and walked off. Utena looked on with surprise at how the glass didn't fall as she followed Touga over to where Anthy passed out the equiptment while arches made of playing cards rose up out of the ground.  
  
"You three, get to your places," Nanami snapped at Aiko, Yuuko and Keiko.  
  
"Yes your mejesty," the three girls said and scampered away from the rose bush to take their places as arches along with the rest of the cards. Nanami walked up to the first croquet ball and swung at it, making it roll through all three card arches who cheered her on and Utena merely clapped.  
  
"Alice stood back as she watched the queen play yet as the king took his turn the queen continued to play! It soon became apparent to Alice that one had to play when they could around here so she stepped up to a hedgehog and..." I said and Utena hit her croquet ball with her mallet only to have it collide with Nanami's and knock it was from the post that it was heading for.  
  
"How dare you!" Nanami shriked as she looked at Utena.  
  
"I'm sorry your majesty," Utena quickly appologized.  
  
"You're sorry! You spoiled my shot at winning the game!" Nanami shouted angrily.  
  
"Now now dear," Touga said and glided in between the girls.  
  
"She is only a young girl and she has admited that she is an amiture at this game," Touga said smoothly and Utena threw him a glare.  
  
"But..." Nanami started.  
  
"Besides, you're ball is much closer than her's...which appears to be no wheres in sight," Touga said. The two girls looked and he was right. Anthy was over by the goal post with a sign that read "The Queen's" that had a red arrow which she pointed at a bright red croquete ball that was only three feet away from the goal post. At the same time, Anthy held another sign that read "Alice's" with a blue arrow but she looked around in vain only to find that she couldn't find the blue ball.  
  
Akio walked behind Anthy with this grin on his face as he held his left index finger up to his lips and then held up the bright blue ball that Alice had hit. This entices not only mild gasps but some laughter from the audience as Akio tosses the ball up in the air a couple times before he stoped in his tracks when he nearly walked right into Utena...who glared angrily at him.  
  
"Drop it," she hissed and Akio did as he was told. He dropped the ball and it fell through the floor.  
  
"Woah," Utena said with wide eye surprise. But Nanami didn't pay attention because as all of this was happening, she was chasing her ball which was rolling around the stage like an electronic cat toy...which surprising was being controled by the remote control in my hands *snickers*. Utena continued to glare at Akio as he shrunk away from her and Touga laughed lightly.  
  
"You must forgive the Queen, she has a short temper...," he started but was soon interupted when Nanami let out a short string of curses when her ball stopped abruptly and this resulted in her tripping and falling over it, "...especially when she plays croquete," he finished with a heavuy sigh.  
  
"I can see," Utena said as she glance over at Nanami as the three cards helped her up and then returned to their places.  
  
"But you seem to have a fair amount of patience," Touga said and moved in close to Utena.  
  
"Your majesty?" Utena asked nervously.  
  
"Tell, just how much patience would you have with me," Touga said as he brought his face closer to Utena as he lifted his right hand to run run it through her hair.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" screamed Nanami. The two jumped and turned to see an very angry Nanami looking at them.  
  
"Uh oh," Touga said quietly and began to slowly inch away an nervous Utena.  
  
"How dare you hit on my king!" Nanami exclaimed.  
  
"What!? I wasn't..." Utena started.  
  
"No! I've had enough of you! Cards, get her!" Nanami screamed.  
  
"Yes your majesty," Aiko, Yuuko, Keiko all said at once and stood up with long wood staffs in their hands. Utena feigned a shriek and then dashed off towards stage left as the three cards chased her. Anthy, Nanami and Touga left stage right as the group ran off stage only to return from stage left with Miki & Kozue who also had long sticks in their hands. They then exited stage right and returned from stage right as Juri and Shiori joined them with sticks in their hands. Finally, they entered stage right with Anthy (now dressed as the March Hare) and Saionji who also had big sticks in their hands. This whole time, Akio was watching all this from center stage and only three feet away from the backdrop.  
  
As soon as Utena was center stage, the converybelt turned on and everyone ran on that as the backdrop moved with them.  
  
"Looks like you're in trouble," Akio said as Anthy began to blend more into the mob and then slowly vanished to stage right.  
  
"Gee, you think?" Utena asked.  
  
"I can help you, if you want me to," Akio said.  
  
"Yes, please!" Utena said.  
  
"You sure, it's gonna cost you," Akio added.  
  
"I don't care, just get me out of this mess," Utena said.  
  
"Ok then," Akio said with a smile and walked off stage left. Then, he and Anthy (now dressed as the white rabbit) rolled back on stage with a giant golden mirror.  
  
"Jump in, quick," they both said. Utena nodded and did as they said. She stepped off the converybelt and dashed towards the mirror as the mob began to fall off towards stage right. Utena then jumped through the mirror and cords lifted her, Akio, Anthy and the giant golden frame up as Utena jumped through the breakaway glass. Utena was lifted only halfway up into the air as Akio, Anthy and the frame were lifted all the way up into the catwalk.  
  
Utena then slowly was lifted higher towards the ceiling and with a single real shriek she dropped to the floor where she landed on her face.  
  
"Chu?" called out ChuChu and he ran out from stage left.  
  
"Dinah?" Utena asked as she looked up at him.  
  
"Oh Dinah, I had the strangest dream," Utena said as she got up to kneel, "I dreamt I followed this white rabbit to this place full of crazy people and..."  
  
"Utena began to tell Dinah about what she thought had been a dream but it wasn't long before she was interupted by an familar..." I started.  
  
"I'm late!" came the cry of Anthy and the two looked up as she entered stage right. Utena then gasped and got up on her feet as Anthy runs circles around her while keeping her eyes on her clock. Utena is moved three feet back and four feet to her left and then a trap door opened up underneath her feet as Anthy continued to run.  
  
"Here we go again!" came the echoing voice of Utena from the hole. Anthy then stopped in her tracks, looked around and then saw the hole in the floor.  
  
"Weeee!" Anthy cried out happily as she jumped into the hole.  
  
"Chu," ChuChu said with a heavy sigh and the curtains closed as the closing song played. Then the curtains opened with the whole cast present and they bowed as the audience began to appauld their wacky performance. They bow a couple more times before the curtains close for the last time and I leave my booth to meet the cast and the two shadow girls backstage.  
  
"Wow, that was fun," Ako said.  
  
"Yes, it was nice to work backstage for once," Bko said.  
  
"Yes, and as per our agreement you can leave now," I said.  
  
"Great, how do we leave this place?" Saioinji asked.  
  
"By this door," I said and walked over to the green. I whisper the name of their realm and then open it to reveal the campus of Otohori Academy.  
  
"Thank you once again for choseing Chaos House for your entertainment pleasure. Please watch your step and make sure that all your luggage is secure as you depart the theater and enter your world," I said with this big goofy grin. Needless to say, this is enough to proclaim me officially nutters as all the characters from Utena get through the door as quickly as possible. Once they are back on school grounds, they breath a sigh of releif before they notice the fact that the other srudents are looking at them oddly while whispering. They then look at each other and gasp to find that they are all still in costume while back in the theater I add their cloths to the giant wardrobe closet *big grin*  
  
END! FIN! 


End file.
